[Things change fast- i deleted everything i typed out.]

"But also at the same time, slow down to take a good look at this team and i am sure, as we look back on every little details in the past half a year that we could remember, each one of us is capable of a smile, and even before we notice it, it will be there."
I died at that line.

Sometimes we just got to accept how certain things mean the world to someone and not to the other, you might not see the point, not understand the reasoning, but sometimes, you don’t need to know how someone is feeling to let them be.

Lifes been funny, crazy, exhausting.
But im not going to let go of something I want anymore. Im going to hold on to it, and if I don’t get it, let it crash in front of me, let it hurt me, and let it kill me. Just cause, I want it.

My parents have been having this dontknowwhatyoucallit war with me. And its not the normal quarrels we usually have. And honestly im very tired of keeping my hopes up, trying to impress them everytime when every other time they look onto Nicole, say how goddamn good she is and tell me how terrible I am. Theres a limit you know on how I allow my pride and ego to be crushed, and I think they are closing in on it. But I really cant do anything, and im not going to try anymore. Im letting them come closer and closer to it, and eventually let them crush it totally if they want. You bring me here, so I give you right to kill me. Im not going to fight back with them. I cant, cause, well, I don’t want to hurt them. Yea.

Please don’t think im some parentscrazedlover, its just that, think about it. Im like that, not only to them, to people I do love.