14 FEB
yeayea, valentines days.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY.
be happy and gay.

haha, it rhymes. today was really- interesting?its a from wth to oh shit to whatever lah, to damn it. yea, wad a loser=.= But i got alot of stuff to say to alot of people.And then..aiya, i cant say it all here, theres too much D:

Well, thru out this time that i didnt update- i guess i've been growing up and living life.learning to be strong and all that stuff.Yea, i guess i;ve grown to live those kind of realtionship- cos if life doesnt change for you- no one will and if no one will, YOU'LL JUST BE STUCK IN YOUR BLOODLY LOUSY SITUATION, so i guess i got tired of that. pick yourself up and move on with life.

It hurts seeing you like that, in your situation- you mus've been pushed to that corner, either that or you've been brought up wrongly. I want you to feel loved, like lovedloved, have this feeling close to your heart and let it stay there. But i guess your "upbringing/pushed to the cornerness" affects the way i try. you down right reject me.and well, i cant do anything..can i? I only can be this state for you to hug when your sad, and as much as i want to be that statue.i guess, you choose your own statue too. This changes everything- i see what your doing now, isolating me and choosing who you want to be with. Well, i guess then im backing out. Even if she downrights reject you, i'll just be your statue eh? that kinda sucks for me, i dont like being PART of them, i want to be YOURs. to keep. but hey, im not desperately in love with you. Cos i pity you. Pity doesnt = love. But really, i scream asshole when you choose people right in front of me, unknowingly. im good, trust me on that. I can break you.But a part of me tells me to let you live your life. God has other plans for next time i guess. And as much as i hate doing what im doing, i go to remind myself that im doing this for a reason. That reason, i wun tell you. But i can tell you, i hate being used. That, you'll suffer eventually.

And i know this paragraph doesnt really make sense to anyone, so too bad for you guys. xD

on to the rest of today:
I need to get a mentally strong mind.
On the way there, just need to focus.
God help me. please!

(Reexamine how hard a heart can beat for a dream)

Life moves on whether you try to stop it and fail or dont try at all or cry or kill. You either accept it or downright reject it and die. :)
So make the right choice today. Listen to yourself.

OH yea, and you thanks.I guess although your idea sounded like shit, i guess its for my own sake? I know you care and all, but then again i dun think you care cos you said so=.= - but im not gonna think and think over it.Cos i know its just gay. Thanks for gaying around with me. Today and the past week.You reminded me why life was worth living. Thank you.

I hate :
I'm sorry and
Thank You.

Cos its spells out goodbye. (its alright if you dont get it, many people dont)[direct hint]