JANUARY 24
Its been forver and ever and ever since I last blog, I know. A lot a lot of things have happen since – then. The last time I bloggged that is.. ohwell, lets start with something awesome first ohkay:

OBS WAS FREAKING AWESOME.
I know you’ve heard about it, I know you feel absolutely great about it. I know you just want to kapo over at me and ask how was my obs and everything and OF COURSE I know, you want me to blog about it. HAHA. But guess what! I’m not going to, maybe another day. But one thing I assure you- it was really as awesome as how the other people described their OBS JOURNEY TO BE (: YUPYUP. Really, I didn’t want to sleep on the last night so I spent it talking to lingzhi until she slept, hey I did something awesome ohkay- I told her about Christ, and confirmed stuff with her. And when I got home I started missing it so much I felt like going to the beach to scream like I did at the quarry. And then fling a stone, and then tried not to fall down, cos if I do, I wun even make it to the water alive, too many trees. Heh. Oh well. Oh but I remember when we were asked this question: What would you do if you were given 86400 dollars a day and it will be automatically recharged into your bank everyday? ( that means that you’ll have 86400 more dollars everyday.) What would you do with the money?

Well, after that question I was crying like shit. HAHAH, I come out with very funny emotional answer dear. And besides we were sitting at this jetty- OVERLOOKING SINGAPORE! IT WAS SO NEAR YET SO FAR. Try feeling what I felt. Haha XD anw, I ONLY PLANNED TO POST ONE PARAGRAPH OF OBS TODAY, THE REST THE NEXT TIME (:

Back to reality- OUCH. Yup. really, OUCH. Haha. Tournaments hit me str in the face aft OBS. Really like its a bling fly and it hit me str in the face. School was hmmhmmm. Hahaah yup. and a lot of things happen lah, a lot of thinking- AGAIN. I do that when im alone ohkay, I think and think and think. And it hurts lah, to think so much sometimes, like when you already know whats going to happen in the future and you have to shut up. Im not saying im psychotic (how to spell ah=.=) but yea, sometimes you just know. Quite hurting lah. But I guess that’s teenage hood, it sets out to kill you, so that you wun die so much when your in adulthood. That’s true ohkay.

Yea, and you know sometimes, I just want to huddle in the corner cos I feel like I don’t fit in at all. Yea. Like im there just because YOU HAVE TO. Yea, so im telling you I KNOW you have to put me in there. COS YOU HAVE TO. And you know, everytime it happens again you make me think and think why am I so lousy and all, your glance makes me feel so small.. and trust me it sucks. Now, im not saying that you suck. But hey, come on, you know somethings wrong when all someone like me wants is to acknowledged. Like you can actually see me. And im not INVISIBLE. I don’t want to be seem to be playing dressing up everytime ohkay, EVEN I want to feel a sense of belonging, im not some blubber you can throw one side. I want to know that you can actually see me. I know you wun see this, it pisses me off, I want to talk to you. But I think you wun even ACKNOWLEDGE ME. Seriously, you can see everyone around me, but not me. And it freaking HURTs. Im sorry im not good enough, but you could at least, tell me that I can improve, DO SOMETHING, SAY HI TO ME. I don’t know. Scold me, whatever. I want to know that you can see me. You did that once today. Once. And then after that, I just disappeared into thin air. Oh wait, I forgot: I am the wind in the team, you CANT see me. You know what. Forget what I said. I am an asshole. To you at least. I really don’t know HOW to please you. But im going to try- praying and praying. But if we really cant talk, then I’ll just leave it here. Theres some people in the world you JUST cant please. And damn it it hurts. I can go all day on how stupid I feel when I walk into the area surrounding you. But im not going to let go so easily. I promise.

Abit more Vicky, can one. You will not cry, cos it isn’t over just yet. Try again.

God.

Thanks Iva, for telling me to jiayou- meant a lot. Im not invisible!

OH, what did I do this week? Wednesday and thursday was the killer. Really, cannot tahan. Haha X) but I guess that’s just life. Oh and our dear neveruseinternetalotperson has a facebook account yay her! Haha, she know who she is. But im not going to get one. Cos I think, computer and internet is just a temporary superficial happiness giver. And hence, I will not spent so much time here anymore. I got my life to live. And well, I figured out that computer and cyber space ain’t true. Reality is my match.  s yea, it’ll be lesser posts from now on. Sms me, I love smsing. HAHA. Really! It makes me happy smsing. Although I take a long time to reply, trying to squeeze everything into one sms so that can save money.hehe. (: im good at saving money ohkay. Not including todays lunce that is, I SO shouldn’t have eaten kfc, so regretful man. Damn, shall not shall nt. (:

I really hope JiaaBALL gets well soon, man, lets not talk netball anymore, I want to have fun, not-
Ohkay, Jiaaball get well soon. (: I miss you. To think I let one person change my view of netball. Its wrong, OHKAY. FINE, I shall talk netball. I must have fun, and not think competition all the time. I hate that feeling, it crosses my love fr the team, how crap is that, BUT I SERIOUSLY THINK THAT’S DESTROYING THE TEAM. STUPID ASSHOLE I KICK YOUR ASS LAH, COMPETITION. Oh wait, I cant complain cos no one would care. Even if they did, no one would do anything. I want to do something but im in no position to do so. ARgh. I feel so useless. I shouldn’t be saying this at all, COS IT WUN HELP. Never mind, I’ll just do my part. The rest- I really cannot do anything. Just try my best.

Hmm, I’ve done my ranting for the day. Imagine if I blogged everyday! I would have pages and pages of posts (: haha, too bad. Like I said I got a life to live, and like now- I have to start packing my room, and did I tell you, my helper went back cos she did something wrong. Very wrong, shall not mention. Yup, but yea. so its been really busy for me right now, I can actually, have to actually say this line- “for my family lah” I never thought I would say that man, not now at least. I thought when I grew up and have my own family maybe, but ohwell. I guess, I really have to.. for my family. 3 immature inconsiderate people to attend to, 1 person working and then me. How nice. I hate waking up earlier. But aiya, no choice, shall not rant anymore. I just need to pray and go for it.

And before i go i gotta say this- Keep fighting, you know who you are.Trust in yourselves, i've seen you.

Lifes hard, but I guess, its that that makes us stronger and more mature, it helps us grow up. Like OBS, life is like this, DON’T COPY M Y PHRASE, I KICK YOUR ASS.

Life: is like plunging head first into nowhere, figuring it and pulling yourself out.

Its like jumping into this deep endless ocean, figuring out how to get out and finally resurfacing. And guess what sometimes you get help and this bonds live on.