it spells out loneliness without expression.

Aware of its state but unaware of the situation.Man,i find it hard to talk nowadays.Im missing someone dear so badly,its the kinda time that you find that your attempt at pushing something aside fails.You dont even know,you stupid person,sometimes i feel like punching your face and kicking your butt,are you dumb?*sigh.Its so hard,the want part is taking over again.I cant have it.Damn,it hurts.I refuse to admit defeat,but then im stopping cos its not right.Why the hell am i so emo.Im not emo,idiot.Superficial friendships cut deep,and somehow the world is flipping over.Not getting better but different points of view are coming in.Im so sick of waiting.Yet im afraid of taking action.Cos i know it will hurt someone,but will anyone even bother?NO,cos its the real world that we're talking about now.

ON the other side of the world,im improving slowly,runnning-i can withstand 6 rounds.i think thats an improvement.Really,well im sorry if you dont think thats significant.Man,sometimes you guys should really turn around and look at peoples expression- im not asking for sympathy but just understanding.I dont believe self seeking overwrites the obvious hurt expression of your friend.Really, you cant be that dumb.its either: your dumb,or you dont care.IM trying to believe your dumb. Well,im trying.

I finally feel how eliza feels when she said that she felt like slapping her bimbo friend last time.Really.

Netball is a different game now- competition spoils it. really, OVER-competitiveness spoils it. Dont give me oh-its-the-real-world crap.Really, its a different game when you rope it all this.Not nice- to me lah. so sad for me. oh well.I hate the fact that some sch get the girls to do weights for the glory of the sch. It is discouraged for us to do weights this young you know. DIScouraged. It gna be hard to get the flab OUT when you grow old you know, i dont want to get anymore muscular-its gna be hard.I need to work on everything if i want to play in netball. Everything i do is wrong in her eyes,really.Shall not rant- zip my mouth and cut it out.

I have to correct my running style,someone told me that i run funny, i run in a str line- thats not wrong, bt my legs turns outwards when i run. I didnt really notice that until my dad told me, and i rmb iva saying i run funny the other time, then SHIN told me today.Yea,i figured out that i can cut off alot of time if i run str really, like 3/4 faster=.= really! wait, forget it. i cant count well- forget it x)

Super stressed up now; praypraypray

1 DECEMBER (TODAY)