Today was quite crap la, reali. Exams jus zoom past, we had three papers on the same day by the way. Arh, after every paper I was like.. Victoria, cannot die yet, dun die, shoulder dun cramp from all the pressure, not yet, for like 7 to 1315 to be exact. I’m proud of not breaking down seriously after the maths exam paper.omgh, wheni start talking abt it I feel like crying.

The maths paper.was.fucking.easy. and you know what, I knew how to do many many maths questions, which is a improvement for people like me, before the exams I told myself, I am freaking tired of failing this time im going to pass, COS IM SO TIRED OF FAILING. Meet me, person SICK of failing. But wth happen? The most stupid thing in the world. My hand refuse to move and write, not that my hand is controlled by like my other side of my brain and I cant use it BUT, its jus this invisible wall thing that ..its a mental block, I freaking know how t do the question. But I jus didn’t write it down, another stpid thing that happen was when the teacher was like, look up to the clock then look back, I THOUGHT SHE SAID STOP WRITING AND STAPLE YOUR GRAPH TO THE BACK OF THE PAPER, but she jus said the graph paper thing, SO I FREAKING DIDN’T FINISH THE QUESTION THAT I COULD WRITE, I WAS LIKE…OMGH, **************. Explict lyrics, when I handed in the paper I was like totally crying inside. Im not upset about the paper. Its all the expectations that’s reali wearing me down. Damn, god, IT HURTS MAN. Im so sorry weileong, making you stay back like a more hour than usual jus to clear all my doubts about the question, and im sorry that I reali let you down, after explaining the same question 10 times literally. Im sorry for being your daughter is all I can say to my parents.(talk abt it later) Im jus so sorry to myself, im such..a loser. I mean who the hell knows how to DO the question yet not do it. What was weird was I can jus sit there, and stone, becos I jus didn’t wan to write the answer. IT’S A MENTAL BARRIER. Fuck it.haii, okay, shall not curse alrd, I feel damn..cursed. after the paper I went up to see shin, and yea, after I talked to her, I jus cried openly, but I ran away after saying/screaming/shouting that I knew how to do it, and didnt do it. I ran away and cried at the staircase. But yea, I stopped myself from crying over the usual, I stopped okay. Cause that’s not Victoria, Victoria does not cry, im taking this as an excuse that its cos of my parents. And besides I had to study geog, which was.. fun.

My Chinese compo was screwed up thou I wrote 5 pages, don’t ask me how, idk.
After that stayed back for teachers day rehearsal, which we eventually pulled out from. HEH. And then waited with han for my dad. Its was damn fun watching the men gymnast work it out. Their muscles are so..big that the look like balls man. Im sorry if it sounds wrong x) helped han jie memories quote by..food? heh.

Ahwells, but the main thing that happen today was after han jie left the car and we went to fetch my bro at ahs. My parents number scolded me for being rude, (wadever). Asked me aout my paper AGAIN.(LIKE I NEED TO RMB IT) and most of all made me cry, I was like. OH SHUT THE HELL UP WILL YOU, I wanted to get out of the car when it stopped, I took off my seatbelt, the only thing that stopped me was, my thoughts, let them see me cry. Im their daughter, im sure they love that. Why hide crying, hurt them openly. Not like they are not hurting me, YOU THINK I DON’T LIVE UNDER A LOT OF PRESSURE ISIT? They reali are.. STUPID. But yea, id think they reai cared. Ohwells, but I got like super bad flu after crying ,(now, I think crying is not worthy anymore) and why do I fel that way, cos I couldn’t run after that. Cos I couldn’t breathe properly. SHUTUP.ahh, I think complaining about them wun reali make a difference rite. Sick of doing that already,

next time ask me where/how/(wadever) are my parents, one answer, what parents?

Ohwells, sicked of you, sicked of your face, sicked of you shit, sick of your notconsideringmyfeelingsandsituation attitude. Sick of YOU.

Hehe, I know this post is like,super moodswing, from happy to sad, to crying, but wadever. That’s how my life is like now, treasure the happy moments, and then cry in the sad moments. But yea, now its all at discipline for me. That’s one thing that’s gna drive me. And one thing im gna let drive me, (don’t bother copying)tmrs SUPPOSE to be fun :) RS.

I’ll hold on without you.
DISCIPLINE(determination;RUN)
Hebrews10:36; will of god.

Your jus another fading memory that I will eventually forget, I miss our past close relationship, it was the best I had in this sch, but yea, I got to rmb, you’re jus someone who comes to me when you hav nobody to talk to or when you need help. Theres no use keeping the faith, cos theres only pain and tears in return. So ahmen, goodbye friend.
You are a FADING memory.