I don’t know how to feel. Reali. I mean,. Aiya, scold me , wadever. But im very upset with god, I can almost say I hate him. But I don’t lah. Im just reali pissed off cos his NOT telling me which direction I shoul head. And so soso many events happen today. It was a really shaky day, I don’t like shakey days. Makes me dizzy and scared. Started with rejection followed by failure and then ashamness. Recess.then disappointment, and then dreadness of eng pt. then I got healed from stoning. Felt better  after that. Yup. And to sum it all this person cheered me up like shitzxz.

I got a confession, I lied to my mum today, I didn’t stay in sch, I went out. ^^ well, anyway I don’t think she cares. Why? Cos we aren’t on talking terms. And I really miss my dad now. Ytd I slept at 1? And woke up at 4? Cos I couldn’t ..i didn’t know how to do photo designing like what the pong. And I didn’t do it in the end. So..WHATEVER. I didn’t reali like, cared after the whole day, Wednesday is suppose to be a happy day but today wasn’t so yea. But god reali played with my emotions today, and I hate ppl who do that. So . yea, but I don’t hate god. Its jus that im freaking angry at that lah. And fuck it, I lost it.the motivation lah. Arh, I m not despo, but last time I HAD the motivationc os of someone now I don’t. well, why? COS ITS OVER=.= ):I need to find motivation in sth, someone once told me to stand up for her. Cos shes not gonna leave me behind. But you know what. Wads happening now is the other way. She is jus walking off without caring cos shes got a new friend. Shes just a fadin memory and I will let it die. Cos its not worth it. So many friendships are getting well..(HOW TO SAY) broken? They are all so superficial now. I refuse to think this is the sec friendship I have.but yea. Everyone is slowly pairing up. Im kinda lonely again. But I wana be like Stanley, he lives in his own world and is respected by soso many people. Love stanleys world man. I wan. But yea. Ohwells. Running, my backs getting better, I can run my usual long d without twitching soon  thanks to swimming. :).

//the aeroplane.THAT spot.all the crapping.and no accomplishment yet feeling accomplished feeling.so worthwhile.although I had to walk so far,but so worthwhile.to be with you.damn, I want to stay there forever. :(

-vicky