You know wad..im not suppose to be using the computer now but ..heck..i’ll jus cover up and make up another excuse.


The talk by tony Anthony was great.absolutely wonderfully nice.no other comments.he really struck the right place in my heart.i do agree with him,,in our hearts there is an empty god shaped hole,and people try to fill it with many other things like money or porn or wadeva to make them happy but yea,they wun be and the pain will come back to you.so I thnk I should let god come into my life and tale me with him.let him heall me.yea.but it takes very long.there was also this part when he asked those who wanted to believe in Christ and become a true Christian..haha.it brings back a lot of memories with me crying and crying.yup I was crying like at my seat,im proud that ive commmited myself to the heavenly father and im not turning back cos I know theres nothing to turn back to anymore anyway.
and thru this talk like I said it certainly brought back a lot of memories in camp.and at this point.I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THANKYOU TO STANLEY WOO.cos hes always been there for me,and whenever I do come crying he brings me back to god and I thank him for all his done.althou I might not reali have left an impact by thanking him so much.he’ll always be someone that I’ll rmb,cos he brought me back to my father.THANK YOU.


..you know when you talk to someone you do wonder wether your talking to someone who wants to talk to you or talk to you cos he or she is bored or has a hp plan and jus uses you for entertainment.well,I duno whether HE is doing it to me anot.he knows I like him but..yea.i know that..i cant reali go anywhere but stay in the position I am right now cos im with god.and yea.all I know is that he knows that I like him and he knows that everytime I got problem I run to him.haii.i duno lah..


training today;I wanna thank jiaa for waiting for me,I love her tons you know,she could hav jus left me to be demoralized and all and I love zhen too.cos they waiting for me while I was choking on my flam(sP?)which is digusting.haha.sorry lah.ppl sick rite.i couldn’t breathe properly mah.my fault ahah x)the only time I laugh today x)
I LOVE YOU JIAMING.AND I LOVE YOU ZHEN AS WELL.


I shall not describe to you wad happen from after training until presently.all I can say is that im hurt,and disappointed,and I yea.i disagree with wad everyone says.cos wad you see is not wad it is.and yea.ive made my point.haii.


And you know who you are..i dun believe in rushing into marriage.haha.not literally lah.but you get my point.i dun believe in rushing into sth cs if that the case its like using me for your personal desire during the period of time.and im not a toy.i got feelings ok.i’ve been broken many times.and I cant be fixed fully unlike a toy.i hav parts of me lost.and im still trying to mend the broken pieces.and I cant cos ive promised god.i love you but I cant be with you..not now..
If only you know true loves waits..

You know as I sat by the waiting for the bus..i only hav 2 buses going to my hse…but i only wanted one specific bus.that bus with a double-decker so that I cant sit and look and look.stone stare and yea,communicate with my other self alone.and I dun wan to go the shorter way home.i only one that type of bus..yea..i waited for the bus…4 buses which I could take went by..but I still waited and waited.many other buses went by like about I saw the same set of bus 3 times then it came…

You know maybe im jus like that..i’ll wait and wait and wait..until I see the perfect one.until I see the perfect one..i’ll wait and wait and wait…until the end of time…guess that’s the way I am…

I’ll wait and wait...until the end of time..cos i love you..
and nothings going to change that..